Okay, internet, let’s talk movies. Specifically, those movies that rolled into theaters or onto our streaming queues and made us all collectively wonder, “Why, though? Like, seriously, *why*?” You know the ones – those sequels that nobody needed, nobody asked for, and honestly, might have actively made the original (or even the entire franchise) feel a little less special. It’s a tale as old as time, or at least as old as Hollywood’s quest for more box office gold.
Sometimes, filmmakers hit the jackpot with a follow-up we didn’t realize we craved, like *Top Gun: Maverick* or *Mad Max: Fury Road*. Those are the exceptions that prove the rule, the rare gems that elevate their predecessors. But then there are the others. The ones that prove a movie can indeed be made for “no reason except to make money,” and sometimes, they “didn’t even do that.” Ouch.
So, buckle up, buttercups! We’re embarking on a slightly cynical, totally casual, and definitely opinionated journey through the cinematic landscape of “seriously, nobody needed this” sequels. We’re talking about the flicks that not only failed to live up to the hype but actively detracted from our fond memories. Here we go.
1. **Star Wars: The Force Awakens**: Alright, let’s kick things off in a galaxy far, far away, where apparently, happy endings are just a suggestion. Remember that whole beautiful, triumphant feeling at the end of *Return of the Jedi*? Yeah, *Star Wars: The Force Awakens* decided to take a lightsaber to that emotional high. The movie “ruins it by revealing that Han and Leia went on to have a whiny child, Kylo Ren (Adam Driver).” And just to twist the knife, “spoiler alert, [he] kills his dad.” Yikes.
The decision to dispatch an iconic character felt less like a narrative necessity and more like a move “for the sole purpose of establishing Kylo Ren as a baddie to be reckoned with.” Oh, and let’s not forget the thinly veiled attempt “to free Harrison Ford from an altogether embarrassing affair.” Brutal honesty, but sometimes the truth hurts.
While the film certainly had its moments, it fundamentally felt off. The whole point was “to pass the lightsaber to a new generation,” but here’s the kicker: “none of the new characters feel authentic or interesting.” That’s a pretty big problem when you’re trying to build a new foundation for one of the most beloved franchises ever. It left many fans scratching their heads, wondering if the magic truly was gone.
2. **Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker**: And if you thought *The Force Awakens* was a bumpy ride, hold onto your Ewoks, because *Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker* arrived to remind us that things can always get worse. Our esteemed critics boldly declare this to be “probably the worst Star Wars movie ever made, which is really saying something.” And honestly, after sitting through that cinematic experience, it’s hard to argue.
The movie is described as a “completely incomprehensible mess” – a phrase that should never be associated with a major tentpole film, especially one concluding a saga. It’s loaded with “two out-of-nowhere, unearned and uninteresting twists.” First up: “The Emperor is still alive, somehow.” Because, you know, being blown up in the Death Star wasn’t enough. Secondly, the utterly baffling revelation that “He is the grandfather of Rey (Daisy Ridley).”
This “lame revelation isn’t enough to make poor, underwritten Rey more interesting.” And then, just when you thought it couldn’t get any more perplexing, there’s “an appalling return of Han Solo (let the dead rest).” Seriously, Hollywood, let the dead rest! The film dives headfirst into “some talk of possession, and a lot of nonsense, ending the Skywalker Saga with a pathetic whimper.” By the way, the middle film, *The Last Jedi*, actually got some love, with Mark Hamill being “great in it,” and director Rian Johnson’s “efforts to broaden the Star Wars universe” being appreciated. So, it’s not like the entire new trilogy was a wash; it was just “sandwiched by two borderline-unwatchable movies.” A true shame for a legendary saga.
3. **Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny**: Oh, Indy. How we love you, Harrison Ford! It truly pains us to see another of his films land squarely on this list. But, let’s be real, “Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny feels like an exercise in ‘we can do this, so we should’.” The harsh truth is that the adventures of our favorite archaeologist “ended very satisfactorily with Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade more than three decades ago.” Some stories are just meant to have a definitive end.
Despite Harrison Ford “cracking wise and cracking his whip,” the undeniable truth is that “the thrill is gone.” You know that feeling when you try to recreate a perfect moment, but it just falls flat? That’s *Dial of Destiny* in a nutshell. It attempts to rekindle the magic but only highlights how special the original run was.
It’s telling when even *Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull*, a film that also “probably shouldn’t have been made,” is preferred. That’s a pretty low bar, folks! Sometimes, it’s better to leave a beloved character’s legacy untouched, to let the iconic moments from the past shine without the shadow of an unnecessary follow-up. Our hearts ache for Indy, but our minds tell us this was a swing and a miss.
4. **Batman & Robin**: Speaking of legendary characters, let’s talk about Batman. The single-best character in American fiction, right? And what happens when you combine that character with a “red-hot cast including Arnold Schwarzenegger (above), George Clooney, Alicia Silverstone and Uma Thurman,” plus a budget “of more than $125 million”? You’d expect cinematic gold, right? Wrong. So, so wrong.
For our money, this film is “perhaps the worst movie ever made, when you consider how good it could have been vs. what it turned out to be.” There are “no excuses for the debacle that resulted.” We’re talking “Weird costumes, cartoonish execution, and Mr. Freeze puns that are, in retrospect, the only worthwhile part of the movie, in a so-bad-they’re-good kind of way.” And trust us, that’s a very generous “so-bad-they’re-good.”
Don’t just take our word for it. Even George Clooney, who played the Caped Crusader in this mess, has been refreshingly honest. He told GQ in 2020, “When I say ‘Batman and Robin’ is a terrible film, I always go, ‘I was terrible in it,’” adding, “Because I was, number one. But also because then it allows you the ability to say, ‘Having said I sucked in it, I can also say that none of these other elements worked either.’” He even quoted those infamous lines like “‘Freeze, Freeze!’” And yet, believe it or not, “it isn’t the worst Batman movie.” That’s a chilling thought.
5. **Jaws: The Revenge (1987)**: You know a sequel is bad when the best thing to come out of it is an actor’s witty quote about getting paid. And that, my friends, is exactly the legacy of *Jaws: The Revenge*. It was the third *Jaws* sequel, and honestly, if you’re making a fourth film about a shark, you might be out of ideas.
Michael Caine, bless his honest soul, perfectly encapsulated the entire experience in his 1992 memoir, *What’s It All About*. He wrote of the film, “‘I have never seen the film but by all accounts it was terrible. However I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific.'” You’ve got to admire that kind of brutal, self-aware honesty. Sometimes, a paycheck is just a paycheck, and a bad movie is just a bad movie.
So, while *Jaws: The Revenge* might have been a colossal cinematic misstep, it did provide “nice houses for actors we like.” That’s a silver lining, we guess, albeit a very thin one. The original *Jaws* was a masterpiece of suspense, a game-changer. This sequel, on the other hand, was just a great example of when to say “enough is enough” with a franchise.
6. **Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023)**: Alright, Marvel fans, prepare yourselves, because even the mighty MCU isn’t immune to the “why did they make this?” bug. The first *Ant-Man* film? A total gem! It was “one of the best Marvel movies because of its goofy charm and low stakes.” It was refreshing, fun, and just plain likable. Then came *Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania*, and oh boy, did it throw out the entire playbook.
This “bad sequel throws out everything that made the original so likable in favor of a gloomy, weightless journey through CGI hell.” “CGI hell” – can you even imagine? It introduced a villain, Kang (played by Jonathan Majors), who had a “confusing set of powers and limitations,” making him less menacing and more… well, confusing.
Despite the unexpected presence of comedy legend Bill Murray, whose “arrival in the Marvel Cinematic Universe should have felt like a much bigger event,” the film ended up being “humorless and boring.” Talk about a missed opportunity! While other Marvel franchises like *Thor* and *Captain America* “yielded some sequels that were superior to the original,” it was “Not so with Ant-Man.” It’s a stark reminder that sometimes, trying too hard to escalate the stakes can actually deflate the charm that made a series popular in the first place.
Alright, internet, if you thought we were done sifting through Hollywood’s pile of “why did they even bother?”, think again! We’re not letting up on our journey through the sequels that absolutely no one asked for, and probably actively made us wish we could un-see them. Get ready for more cinematic head-scratchers, because we’re diving back into the deep end of the ‘nope’ pile.
We’re going to uncover more ill-advised stunts, comedy calamities, and franchise missteps that left audiences scratching their heads and wondering what went wrong. It’s time to continue our casual, totally unbiased, and definitely opinionated look at the films that prove sometimes, less really is more. Let’s not waste any more time, shall we?
7. **Caddyshack II (1988)**: Oh, *Caddyshack*. The original film is a comedy masterpiece, an absolute riot that couldn’t help but be funny. And why was it so good? Because it was powered by a dream team: “three brilliant comedy stars — Bill Murray, Chevy Chase and Rodney Dangerfield — under the guidance of one of the greatest comedy directors, Harold Ramis.” That’s a lineup designed for pure, unadulterated hilarity, a perfect storm of comedic genius. It practically wrote itself into the hall of fame.
Then came *Caddyshack II*, which decided to take a completely different approach. Instead of the lightning-in-a-bottle ensemble, it “put the comedic onus on Jackie Mason,” a choice that left many scratching their heads. They tried to spice things up with “special appearances by Chase and another Saturday Night Live alum, Dan Aykroyd,” and Ramis even came back to write. But, alas, it just wasn’t enough to recapture that original magic. It’s like trying to recreate a gourmet meal with half the ingredients missing – it might look similar, but the flavor just isn’t there.
The true testament to a comedy classic is how many lines you can quote from it. The original *Caddyshack* is “one of the most quoted movies of all,” a film whose witty banter and ridiculous moments are etched into our collective memory. *Caddyshack II*? Not so much. It’s the “epitome of a bad and unnecessary sequel,” a painful reminder that some things are just better left as singular, perfect entities. Oh, and one more thing: “Roman numerals, Caddy Shack II? Really?” Talk about trying too hard!
8. **American Psycho 2: All-American Girl (2002)**: Now, let’s talk about a film that dared to be controversial, provocative, and utterly brilliant. *American Psycho*, based on Bret Easton Ellis’s 1991 novel, was initially “often considered unfilmable due its mix of graphic violence and esoteric humor.” It was a tough nut to crack, but Mary Harron “cracked it magnificently with her outstanding film adaption in 2000.” Her film was a razor-sharp satire, a chilling character study, and a cultural phenomenon that resonated deeply with audiences.
So, naturally, what does Hollywood do two years later? Distributor Lions Gate decided to “cheapen the original film with this baffling bad sequel starring Mila Kunis and William Shatner.” And when we say “baffling,” we mean truly bewildering. This sequel completely “abandoning all the social satire of American Psycho,” which was, you know, the *entire point* of the original. Instead, it starts with a young girl murdering Bateman and then, somewhat predictably, becoming a killer herself. It’s a drastic shift in tone and purpose, stripping away the very essence of what made the first film so impactful.
The most telling detail about this cinematic misstep is its origin story: it was “based on a script that initially had nothing to do with American Psycho.” That’s right, it was a completely separate project that was “misguidedly linked to it to capitalize on the success of the Mary Harron film.” Pure, unadulterated cash grab. Even Mila Kunis, who stars in it, has expressed her regrets, saying, “When I did the second one, I didn’t know it would be American Psycho II. It was supposed to be a different project, and it was re-edited, but, ooh … I don’t know. Bad.” We hear you, Mila, we truly do.
9. **The Matrix Revolutions**: Let’s cast our minds back to the mind-bending world of *The Matrix*. The original film, a groundbreaking masterpiece, changed cinema forever. And you know what? Its first sequel, *The Matrix Reloaded*, was actually pretty solid! It introduced some genuinely cool additions to the burgeoning Matrix mythology, like The Merovingian, Persephone, and The Twins. Plus, that car chase with The Twins? Absolutely excellent! It expanded the universe in exciting ways and kept the adrenaline pumping.
But then came *The Matrix Revolutions*, the third film in the original trilogy. And here’s the burning question: does anyone, and we mean *anyone*, remember a single thing that actually happened in it? Be honest! For many, the magic that had so captivated audiences in the first two installments was “long exhausted by that point.” It felt less like a thrilling conclusion and more like a convoluted obligation, a film that tried to wrap things up but only managed to tie itself in knots.
This collective amnesia raises a fundamental question: “whether the whole Matrix franchise should have been left at the original film, which is basically flawless.” Sometimes, a perfect story needs no continuation, no further explanation. It just needs to exist in its singular brilliance. And let’s not even get started on 2021’s *The Matrix Resurrections*, which felt “so detached from the other films that it almost feels more like a reunion special than a film.” It’s not even a case of a good or bad sequel; it’s just, well, “there.”
So there you have it, folks! Another deep dive into the cinematic black hole of sequels that just… didn’t need to exist. From legendary sagas losing their way to cult classics getting an unfortunate follow-up, Hollywood has certainly given us plenty to cringe about. Sometimes, it’s better to let sleeping franchises lie, or at least give them a truly compelling reason to wake up. These eleven films serve as a stark, often hilarious, reminder that not every story needs another chapter, especially if that chapter involves a slow boat, a confusing set of powers, or a cynical re-editing. What do you think? Did we miss any? Let us know in the comments below, and don’t forget to share this list with your movie-loving (or movie-hating) friends!
