Alright, gather ’round, pop culture fanatics! If there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that the 1980s served up some truly unforgettable cinema. And by unforgettable, we often mean movies that were so wonderfully, gloriously, unashamedly cheesy that they burrowed deep into our hearts and set up permanent residence. Think neon lights, questionable fashion choices, and plots that sometimes defied all logic – it was a magical time, wasn’t it?
We’re talking about those films that might not have won any high-brow awards, but won something far more valuable: our enduring affection. These aren’t just ‘bad’ movies; oh no, they’re movies so bad they loop back around to being absolutely fantastic. They’re the cinematic equivalent of finding a forgotten cassette tape, blowing off the dust, and hitting play, only to be transported back to a simpler, more outrageously fun era. And honestly, if you haven’t seen them all, you’re missing out on some serious retro gold.
So, buckle up, grab your popcorn (preferably with extra butter), and get ready to take a trip down memory lane. We’re about to celebrate the cheesiest films from the decade of, well, cheese! Prepare for a partial list of must-see films from the Neon Decade that you absolutely need to add to your watch list. Just make sure your proverbial tongue is planted firmly in your proverbial cheek, because we’re about to dive into some serious cinematic absurdity that we cherish with every fiber of our being.
1. **Xanadu (1980)**: Oh, Xanadu! How can one movie possibly contain so much pure, unadulterated 80s spirit? This fantasy musical is quintessential 80s cheese, wrapped up in a shimmering, roller-skating dream. It features a down-on-his-luck artist named Sonny, a magical girl literally coming to life from a drawing, and more neon than you could possibly imagine, enough to light up a dozen other films combined. It’s a wild ride that tells the tale of an ancient Greek muse who arrives in Los Angeles in 1980, sparking inspiration for Sonny to create the most fantastic roller-disco the world has ever seen.
Now, here’s a fun fact that proves just how polarizing this flick was: it was so reviled by some critics and viewers upon its release that it actually helped create the notorious Golden Raspberry Awards, or ‘Razzies,’ which celebrate the worst in film. Ouch! Despite its initial reception, the film and its absolutely iconic soundtrack, featuring the incredible talents of star Olivia Newton-John and the legendary Electric Light Orchestra, managed to capture the hearts of a dedicated fanbase.
Even today, Xanadu endures as a beloved cult classic. It’s a movie that perfectly embodies the joyous, somewhat bizarre, and utterly earnest aesthetic of the early 80s. With Gene Kelly on roller skates, a painter turned entrepreneur, and a soundtrack that will have you humming for days, it’s a delightful mess that reminds us why we love these wonderfully cheesy movies so much.
2. **The Karate Kid Part III (1989)**: Just when you thought Daniel-san and Mr. Miyagi might finally get a break, along comes The Karate Kid Part III to crank up the cheese factor to eleven. In this installment, the perpetually evil karate instructor John Kreese has fallen on seriously hard times since his student lost that epic tournament. But instead of just admitting defeat, he vows revenge against Daniel and Mr. Miyagi, because apparently, some grudges just never die. And because this is the 80s, he doesn’t enact it himself; he calls in a previously unmentioned Vietnam War buddy, Terry Silver.
Terry Silver, being the ultimate 80s bad guy, is naturally an evil billionaire with slicked-back hair, an affinity for casual discussions about dumping nuclear waste, and a very, very large cell phone he uses to make calls from his sauna. Yes, you heard that right – a sauna phone! The movie is packed with bizarre elements that make you wonder if anyone was truly thinking things through, like the dramatic scene where Daniel has to climb down a treacherous cliff just to save a bonsai tree. It’s peak 80s absurdity, and we’re here for it.
Adding to the film’s undeniable cheesiness is the fact that Ralph Macchio, who was in his late twenties at the time, was still playing a teenager, a delightful bit of cinematic suspension of disbelief. And let’s not forget the finale, which is practically a carbon copy of the original film’s climax, right down to the dramatic kick. It even features one of the best, and undoubtedly cheesiest, jump-scares of the decade, courtesy of a deranged Kreese. It’s a sequel that delivers on all the wonderfully predictable, over-the-top tropes we adore from the era.
3. **Big Trouble in Little China (1986)**: When you combine the visionary director John Carpenter with the effortlessly cool Kurt Russell, you know you’re in for a treat, and Big Trouble in Little China is no exception. This film marked their third collaboration in the 1980s, and it finally allowed Carpenter to realize his long-held dream of making a martial arts film. But this wasn’t just any martial arts action film; it was a glorious mishmash of genres, a truly unique blend of comedy, fantasy, and monster movie all rolled into one spectacular package. It’s precisely this genre-bending chaos that makes it so incredibly cheesy and brilliant.
Kurt Russell stars as Jack Burton, a normal guy and truck driver who possesses an undeniable swagger, yet reacts to the fantastical events around him with a relatable level of bewilderment. He inadvertently finds himself caught up in an ancient battle between good and evil when he tries to collect on a simple bet. This battle, of course, unfolds in the mystical heart of San Francisco’s Chinatown, adding to the film’s distinctive flavor. Burton is a great character, cool and competent, yet refreshingly human when faced with truly bizarre sights, like a multi-eyed, floating, spying face thing.
At the heart of all this supernatural mayhem is the immortal and incredibly powerful Chinese sorcerer David Lo Pan, played by the fellow 80s legend James Hong. Lo Pan is a villain for the ages, menacing yet utterly captivating in his grandiosity. The movie is a masterclass in how to embrace the absurd and run with it, delivering unforgettable action sequences, quirky humor, and visual effects that, while dated, add to its charming cheesiness. It’s a ride you won’t soon forget, and one that absolutely exemplifies the best of 80s genre films.
4. **Flash Gordon (1980)**: Prepare for a cosmic adventure that’s as colorful as it is delightfully campy: Flash Gordon. Italian producer Dino De Laurentiis held the film rights to a Flash Gordon adaptation for a long time, and interestingly, during the 70s, a relative unknown filmmaker named George Lucas lobbied hard to make the film. However, De Laurentiis refused, opting instead for a more comedic take on the adaptation of the classic comic and film serial character. And while Lucas went on to create the space opera masterpiece that was Star Wars, Flash Gordon took a very different, and gloriously cheesy, path.
To be fair, the effects in Flash Gordon certainly paled in comparison to the groundbreaking visuals of Star Wars, but that’s part of its enduring charm. The script itself was wonderfully tonally confused, swinging wildly between serious sci-fi and over-the-top farce, a quality that only heightens its cheesy appeal. It also starred a complete unknown in the lead role, which somehow added to its unique, almost unpolished charm. But perhaps the most genius, and certainly cheesiest, decision was to forgo a traditional orchestral score for a pounding, iconic soundtrack from none other than glam rock legends Queen.
Queen’s soundtrack, with its soaring anthems and distinct rock opera feel, perfectly encapsulates the movie’s larger-than-life, vibrant, and utterly over-the-top nature. Every scene feels heightened by their music, turning what might have been a forgettable sci-fi romp into a memorable cult classic. Flash Gordon is a testament to the idea that sometimes, embracing the bizarre and combining it with a killer soundtrack is all you need to create a film that becomes a beloved piece of cinematic history, even if it’s dripping with cheese.
5. **The Running Man (1987)**:Get ready to rumble in the far-off future of 2019, because “The Running Man” is sprinting onto our list! In this brilliantly cheesy flick, the masses are kept distracted from their fascistic reality by a colorful blood sport on TV, aptly named “The Running Man.” Criminals, decked out in bright spandex (because, of course, they are!), must survive a deadly gauntlet to supposedly win their freedom. Standing in their way are the “stalkers,” a crew of killers with outrageous costumes, signature themes, and incredibly creative ways to dispatch their targets. It’s reality TV before reality TV was cool – or, you know, even a thing.
Playing a cop framed for an atrocity by his government, Arnold Schwarzenegger understood the assignment completely, delivering an absolutely over-the-top performance that’s packed with his signature one-liners. Seriously, Arnie just hams it up, and we love him for it. From “Here’s Subzero! Now plain zero!” to the famous exchange: “Amber Mendez: What happened to Buzzsaw? Ben Richards: Ah, he had to split,” the movie is a veritable feast of quotable lines that perfectly embody the absurdity and charm of 80s action.
“The Running Man” isn’t just a fun ride; it’s a time capsule of 80s excess, blending action, satire, and a healthy dose of pure, unadulterated camp. It’s a prime example of how the decade embraced the ridiculous with open arms, giving us films that were as entertaining as they were undeniably cheesy. Plus, who doesn’t love a dystopian future where killer ice skaters are a legitimate threat? Pure gold!
6. **The Last Starfighter (1984)**: Calling all arcade wizards! If you ever suspected your mad video game skills meant you were destined for something greater, then “The Last Starfighter” is your cinematic confirmation. Released a year after “Return of the Jedi” wrapped up the original Star Wars trilogy, studios were scrambling to make the next big space opera – and they wanted it fast. This film was shot in a lightning-fast thirty-eight days, which sounds absolutely bonkers, but hey, it was the 80s!
Now, while the production speed is interesting, “The Last Starfighter” is truly memorable for its post-production innovations. This was one of the very first films to use CGI extensively, and let me tell you, that early use of computer-generated imagery gives it an unmistakably, gloriously 80s look. It’s a visual treat that screams “digital pioneer” in the most wonderfully dated way possible. The plot itself is pure 80s wish fulfillment: a teenage boy in a small town beats a piloting video game, only to discover it’s actually a recruitment tool for an interstellar war. He gets drafted as the savior of a benevolent, but losing, side.
Could this movie have come out in any other decade? Absolutely not! Its premise, its groundbreaking (for the time) CGI, and its celebration of arcade talent are all hallmarks of the era. “The Last Starfighter” is a delightful, heartfelt slice of cheesy sci-fi that proves sometimes, a simple, earnest story about a kid saving the galaxy with his joystick skills is exactly what you need. It’s a testament to the era’s unique blend of ambition and charming technological limitations.
7. **Over the Top (1987)**: Alright, prepare for some serious arm-wrestling drama, because “Over the Top” is about to flex its way onto our list! Sylvester Stallone, known for his fair share of cheesy 80s movies where he found more and more ways to show off his physique and, let’s be honest, his ego, absolutely delivers here. While flicks like “Cobra” were certainly cheese-fests, the sheer premise of “Over the Top” puts it… well, over the top. Stallone, who also co-wrote the film, stars as Lincoln Hawk, a long-haul trucker on a mission to reconnect with his estranged son. And how does he do it? The only way he knows how: through high-stakes arm wrestling. Yes, you read that correctly.
The movie is set to a pulsating electronic score by Giorgio Moroder, who teamed up with Kenny Loggins for the film’s signature track. This soundtrack alone is peak 80s power-anthem goodness, perfectly setting the stage for Hawk’s journey. Our hero competes in the arm wrestling world championships in Las Vegas, battling for glory and, more importantly, redemption and a connection with his son. It’s a narrative that perfectly blends sports drama, family melodrama, and pure, unadulterated 80s masculinity.
“Over the Top” is a prime example of a film that takes a seemingly simple concept and injects it with an absurd amount of emotional intensity and dramatic flair, all wrapped up in a package of glorious 80s excess. It’s got the muscle, the heart (in its own cheesy way), and the sheer audacity to be exactly what it is – a wonderfully, unapologetically cheesy Stallone vehicle that we can’t help but root for.
These movies, with their improbable stunts, excessive violence, and patriotic undertones, might be cheesy, but they laid the foundation for modern action cinema, influencing countless movies and franchises. They represent a unique moment in cinema history, capturing the spirit of an era where bigger truly meant better, and providing pure, unadulterated entertainment. Whether you’ve seen them a dozen times or are just discovering them, diving into the world of 80s cheesy films promises an exhilarating journey through a time when explosions were king, one-liners were legendary, and heroes were just ridiculously awesome. Seriously, go watch them!
