Hey there, barflies and cocktail connoisseurs! Stephen LaConte here, and before I was spilling words on your screen, I was spilling (and expertly mixing, thank you very much) drinks behind the bar. Like many of my fellow pourers of liquid joy, I got into bartending because I genuinely love people. There’s a certain magic to crafting the perfect drink and seeing a customer’s face light up.
But let’s be real, even the most people-loving bartender has their limits. While we’re usually thrilled to shake, stir, or muddle whatever your heart desires, there are some orders that, shall we say, elicit an internal sigh, a subtle eye-roll, or perhaps a moment of existential dread. It’s not about being unaccommodating; it’s about the sheer logistics, the unexpected mess, or sometimes, just the soul-crushing boredom of certain concoctions.
So, to spare you from unknowingly becoming ‘that customer’ and to give you a fascinating peek behind the velvet rope of the bar, we’ve spoken to veteran bartenders across the U.S., scoured social media, and delved into Reddit threads. We’ve uncovered the menu items that make them inwardly groan, the drinks they genuinely ‘hate making the most.’ And trust us, some of your favorites are definitely going to surprise you!
1. **Mojito**Let’s kick things off with a notorious offender, the Mojito. This Cuban classic, with its fresh mint and zesty lime, might taste like a vacation in a glass, but for bartenders, it often feels more like a chore. Jackson Strayer-Benton, Beverage Director for Hen of the Wood, Doc Ponds, and Prohibition Pig in Vermont, succinctly puts it: ‘The mojito is one of the most notoriously disliked drinks for bartenders. Why? It’s a mess to make.’
The reason for the disdain lies in its preparation. Unlike many cocktails where you simply mix liquids, a Mojito demands a specific, time-consuming technique: muddling. This involves gently mashing mint leaves with a cocktail muddler in a shaker to release their essential oils and vibrant flavor, taking dedicated attention and slowing down service significantly when the bar is slammed.
Strayer-Benton’s advice is both practical and insightful: ‘The mojito is an easy cocktail to recreate at home using fresh mint from your garden or local market. Make it for your friends and family, but leave the mint at home when you go out to your favorite bar/restaurant and order something from their professionally crafted cocktail menu.’ It’s a plea for consideration – if you absolutely have your heart set on one, your bartender won’t refuse, but maybe save it for a quieter moment, and certainly, tip generously for the effort!
Blended Cherry Mojitos
Ingredients
Equipment
Method
- Place the frozen cherries, crushed ice, mint leaves, lime juice, rum, and simple syrup in a blender. Blend until smooth.
- Pour the mixture into chilled glasses and top with crushed ice. Garnish with lime wedges and cherries.
- Lime Simple Syrup
Notes
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2. **Bloody Mary**Next up, a brunch-time staple that often makes bartenders see red: the Bloody Mary. While some might consider it a hearty meal in a glass, complete with garnishes that could rival a salad bar, its complexity is a major headache. Laura Thompson, Bar Manager at Prohibition Pig in Vermont, doesn’t mince words, stating, ‘My least favorite is a Bloody Mary, especially after 5 p.m.’
The sheer number of ingredients is daunting. Vodka, tomato juice, Worcestershire sauce, black pepper, celery salt, Tabasco, and lemon juice – that’s a lot to measure and mix for just one drink, plus the array of garnishes. As Thompson laments, ‘They are also a mess, and you have to dig out a bunch of garnishes you put away hours ago, and do an extra shaker clean. It just gums up the works when you are busy, you know?’
Adding to the frustration is the modern trend of ‘riffs’ on the classic Bloody Mary. As Luke Slater, founder of The Cask Connoisseur, points out, ‘It can sometimes be difficult to guess what a customer may like in their drink.’ This means more questions, more customization, and even more time spent trying to perfect a drink that’s already a high-maintenance order.
The Ultimate Seafood Bloody Mary recipes
Ingredients
Equipment
Method
- Combine chopped yellow onion with 1 teaspoon of water in a blender and process until a fine paste forms.
- In a large bowl, whisk together the onion paste, tomato juice, Worcestershire sauce, hot sauce, celery salt, horseradish, sea salt, black pepper, clam juice, fresh lime juice, and fresh lemon juice.
- Pour the Bloody Mary mix through a fine-mesh strainer into a clean pitcher or container, pressing on the solids to extract all liquid. Chill the mix thoroughly for at least 2 hours.
- Lightly coat the head-on prawns with olive oil and a pinch of kosher salt.
- Heat a grill pan or skillet over medium-high heat. Grill the prawns for 1-2 minutes per side until they turn pink and are cooked through. Set aside to cool.
- Carefully shuck the raw oysters, keeping them on the half shell for presentation if desired.
- Fill highball glasses with ice.
- For each cocktail, pour 5 ounces of the chilled Bloody Mary mix and 2 ounces of vodka into a prepared glass. Stir gently to combine.
- Garnish each cocktail with one grilled prawn and one shucked raw oyster.
- Serve immediately and enjoy.
Notes
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3. **Moscow Mule**The Moscow Mule, a refreshing blend of vodka, ginger beer, ice, and lime, seems simple enough on the surface. However, it quickly lands on the ‘dreaded’ list, primarily due to one key element: its signature copper mug. While aesthetically pleasing and functional for keeping the drink cold, these specialized cups are a pain for bartenders to constantly retrieve, wash, and keep track of, especially when a rush hits.
Beyond the glassware, many bartenders aren’t even fans of the drink’s flavor profile itself. David Kravitz, beverage director at The Smith in New York City, voiced his opinion to Thrillist, remarking that the drink ‘is just not very good.’ He elaborated, ‘The vodka does nothing to enhance the ginger beer other than add alcohol.’
Quality of ingredients also plays a significant role in the bartender’s eye-roll. Anthony Pullen, a mixologist and director of business development at Lyre’s Spirit Co., highlighted that Moscow Mules often fall short because they are ‘tend to be made with lower-quality, high-sugar ginger beer.’ So, order a Moscow Mule ‘if it’s on a special drink menu and you know what kind of ginger beer is being used.’
Moscow Mule Recipe
Ingredients
Equipment
Method
- Squeeze half a lime to yield fresh lime juice, reserving a wedge for garnish.
- Fill a copper mug generously with ice cubes.
- Measure and pour 2 ounces of vodka into the ice-filled mug.
- Add the fresh lime juice to the mug.
- Top the mixture with 4 to 6 ounces of chilled ginger beer, adjusting to your preference for spice and sweetness.
- Gently stir the ingredients with a bar spoon to combine, ensuring not to over-agitate the carbonation.
- Garnish the rim of the mug with the reserved lime wedge or a lime wheel.
- Serve immediately and enjoy the refreshing Moscow Mule.
Notes
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4. **Pina Colada**Ah, the Pina Colada – a tropical escape in a glass, evoking images of sandy beaches and ocean breezes. But for many bartenders, this iconic vacation drink triggers more sighs than sunshine, especially when ordered at the wrong venue. Michelin star chef Joe Isidori, founder of Arthur & Son’s Restaurant in NYC, advises, ‘Save the frozen drinks for a vacation spot where they’re already blended and ready to drink.’
The main grievance, as you might guess, stems from the blender. Isidori bluntly states, ‘Bartenders hate making pina coladas.’ He explains they are ‘Too sweet and typically reserved for tourists.’ However, the real pain point emerges with the request for a frozen version: ‘God forbid you want one frozen in a blender. You better hope they don’t throw it at you!’
Think about it: blenders are loud, take up precious counter space, and require thorough cleaning after each use. In a bustling bar, pulling out a blender, adding ingredients, blending, pouring, and then cleaning the sticky, sweet residue is a major slowdown. This is akin to how baristas despise frappuccinos; they’re time-consuming, loud, and dirty up a lot of equipment.
Jerk Shrimp and Pineapple Salsa Quesadillas with Pina Colada Guacamole
Ingredients
Equipment
Method
- Gather all prepared ingredients: tortillas, shredded cheese, grilled jerk shrimp, grilled pineapple salsa, and optional guacamole/crema.
- Lightly grease a non-stick skillet or griddle and preheat over medium heat.
- Lay one tortilla flat on a clean surface or cutting board.
- Evenly sprinkle half of the shredded Monterey Jack cheese over the tortilla.
- Distribute half of the grilled jerk shrimp and grilled pineapple salsa over the cheese layer.
- Top with the remaining half of the shredded cheese, then place the second tortilla on top.
- Carefully transfer the assembled quesadilla to the preheated skillet. Cook for 2-4 minutes per side, or until golden brown and the cheese is thoroughly melted.
- Remove the quesadilla from the skillet and let it rest on a cutting board for a minute.
- Slice the quesadilla into wedges using a sharp knife or pizza cutter.
- Serve immediately, accompanied by the optional pina colada guacamole and crema.
Notes
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5. **Ramos Gin Fizz**If there’s one cocktail that consistently tops the ‘most-dreaded’ list for its sheer labor intensity, it’s the Ramos Gin Fizz. This classic, with its frothy, luxurious texture, is undeniably delicious, but its creation is an epic undertaking. David Mensch, owner of Spencer & Lynn Wine and Spirit Merchants in Connecticut, perfectly encapsulates the sentiment: ‘When asked this question, an old nemesis immediately comes to mind. The Ramos Gin Fizz is a classic and delicious cocktail but it is a nightmare to see on a ticket.’
The core issue is time, and lots of it. Mensch emphatically states, ‘This cocktail can easily take 10 to 15 minutes to do correctly and there is no multi-tasking during this period.’ A significant portion of this is devoted to ‘around 8 minutes of dry shaking,’ a process designed to emulsify the egg white and cream for that signature foam. His conclusion? ‘No one has time for that. Period.’
Josue Castillo, Beverage Director for Boston’s Next Door and Pazza on Porter, further details the meticulous, multi-stage process. ‘The drink takes about five minutes to make, and it must be made in a very specific way and poured into a specific glass,’ he explains, including dry shaking, shaking with ice until diluted, pouring, letting settle, adding soda, and letting it settle again. Mixologist and bar personality Elissa Dunn even likens making it to ‘cooking a delicate soufflé,’ noting it can take ‘somewhere around 12 minutes’ without a hand blender.
So, if you’re craving that full-bodied, fluffy texture, consider a less demanding alternative. Alex Barbatsis of The Whistler in Chicago suggests, ‘If you’re looking for something full-bodied and fluffy, I would recommend a whiskey sour or pisco sour. Both use egg white which creates that creamy texture but has great depth of flavor.’
Ramos Gin Fizz
Ingredients
Equipment
Method
- Combine gin, half-and-half, lemon juice, lime juice, white sugar, egg white, orange flower water, and vanilla extract in a cocktail shaker.
- Perform a “dry shake” by shaking vigorously without ice for at least 60-90 seconds to fully emulsify the egg white and create a rich, frothy base.
- Add 1.5 cups of ice to the shaker.
- Perform a “wet shake” by shaking vigorously again for another 30-60 seconds until the mixture is thoroughly chilled and further aerated.
- Strain the mixture into a chilled highball glass.
- Slowly top the drink with 1 fluid ounce of very cold club soda, or as needed, allowing the iconic frothy head to rise generously above the rim of the glass.
- Serve immediately to enjoy its unique texture and flavor.
Notes
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6. **Dirty Vodka Martini**Moving from time-consuming to taste-controversial, we arrive at the Dirty Vodka Martini. This seemingly sophisticated choice frequently draws an internal grimace from those behind the bar, even if they’ll serve it with a smile. John Ware, mixologist and spirits director at Forsythia in NYC, openly declares his readiness for ‘the reign of the dirty vodka to end.’
Ware’s primary contention isn’t the effort, but the flavor profile. He shares, ‘I’ve been making cocktails for quite a while, and my palate has had to conquer many an acquired taste, but I have never thought any version of this drink tastes good.’ He finds it ‘unbalanced at its core, and the vodka and the brine often bring out the worst in each other.’
While Ware, like any professional, will ‘make them with a smile,’ his true passion lies in crafting beverages he can genuinely endorse. He concludes, ‘I prefer cocktails I can stand behind 100%. The DVM will never be it.’ So, next time you order a Dirty Vodka Martini, know that while you’ll receive excellent service, your bartender might be secretly wishing you’d chosen something they felt truly proud to mix.
Dirty Vodka Martini
Ingredients
Equipment
Method
- Chill your martini glass by filling it with ice water or placing it in the freezer for at least 5 minutes.
- Add 3 oz. of vodka to a cocktail shaker.
- Add ½ oz. of dry vermouth to the shaker.
- Add ½–1 tsp. of Spanish olive brine to the shaker, adjusting to your preferred level of ‘dirtiness’.
- Fill the shaker completely with fresh ice cubes.
- Stir the mixture vigorously with a bar spoon for 20-30 seconds, until the shaker is well-frosted and the drink is thoroughly chilled.
- Discard the ice water from your chilled martini glass.
- Strain the chilled martini mixture directly into the prepared martini glass.
- Garnish with two or three Spanish olives, skewered on a cocktail pick if desired.
Notes
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7. **Tequila Sunrise**Finally, for this section, we shine a light on the vibrant but vexing Tequila Sunrise. While its layered colors might make for an Instagram-worthy photo, achieving a truly balanced and delicious version is surprisingly challenging, often leading to a subtle internal sigh from your bartender. Timo Torner, founder of The Cocktail Society, highlights the core problem: ‘This drink is tough because it’s tough to get the balance of flavors right.’
The standard recipe, with its mix of tequila, orange juice, and grenadine, often falls short of a bartender’s professional standards. Torner explains, ‘it’s almost impossible to make it actually really good following the standard recipe.’ The grenadine, meant to create the ‘sunrise’ effect, often just sinks and adds an overly sweet note without contributing to a complex flavor profile.
For bartenders who pride themselves on the quality of their creations, serving a drink they aren’t confident in is a source of quiet frustration. Torner openly admits, ‘It is always a challenge to serve a drink of which I am not at all convinced of the quality.’ This speaks to the craft and dedication involved in bartending.
Okay, fellow bar enthusiasts, if you thought those first seven were surprising, buckle up! We’re diving even deeper into the unexpected territory of drinks that make our beloved mixologists want to pull out their hair. It turns out that some innocent-sounding sips, and even some ordering habits, can be total vibe killers behind the bar. Let’s unmask eight more contenders that earn a subtle, or sometimes not-so-subtle, eye-roll from the people who keep your spirits high.
Tequila Sunrise
Ingredients
Equipment
Method
- Ensure all liquid ingredients, especially the orange juice and tequila, are thoroughly chilled before beginning to maintain optimal coldness and prevent dilution.
- Generously fill 6 highball or hurricane glasses with ice cubes.
- In a large pitcher, combine the chilled fresh orange juice and tequila. Stir gently to ensure they are well mixed.
- Carefully pour the orange juice and tequila mixture evenly into each of the prepared ice-filled glasses, filling them approximately two-thirds full.
- Slowly pour 1/6th of the total grenadine (roughly ½ teaspoon) down the inside edge of each glass. Allow it to settle at the bottom, creating the distinctive layered ‘sunrise’ effect without stirring.
- Prepare the orange slices by making a small cut to allow them to sit comfortably on the rim of each glass.
- Garnish each cocktail with a fresh orange slice before serving immediately.
Notes
8. **Whiskey Sour**You might think a Whiskey Sour is a fairly straightforward order, right? Whiskey, lemon, sugar, maybe an egg white for that luscious foam. Delicious! But guess what? That beautiful, creamy head, while a delight for your palate, can be a bit of a headache for the person crafting it, especially when the bar is buzzing.
The culprit here, much like its cousin the Ramos Gin Fizz, is the egg white. Pape Konte, Bar Manager at The Standard, East Village in NYC, spills the beans: ‘During a busy bar service, making whiskey sours can be a hassle because of the time it takes to dry shake the cocktail and separate the egg whites.’ It’s that extra, meticulous step of dry shaking to emulsify the egg white that adds precious minutes to the preparation.
Now, don’t get us wrong, bartenders truly appreciate the flavor and elegance of a well-made Whiskey Sour. As Konte himself admits, ‘But the flavors make it well worth it!’ It’s not that they hate the drink itself; it’s the timing and the effort involved when they’re trying to keep a dozen other orders flowing. So, if you’re craving that frothy masterpiece, maybe save it for a slightly less hectic moment, or just be extra patient (and generous with your tip!).
Simple Whiskey Sour Recipe
Ingredients
Equipment
Method
- Gather all ingredients and chill your serving glass.
- Measure 2 ounces of whiskey, 1 ounce of fresh lemon juice, and 1 teaspoon of sugar (or toasted sugar).
- If using an egg white, add it to the cocktail shaker with the lemon juice and sugar.
- Perform a ‘dry shake’ (shake vigorously without ice) for 15-20 seconds to emulsify the egg white, if using.
- Add the whiskey and ice to the shaker.
- Shake vigorously for 10-15 seconds until well-chilled.
- Strain the mixture into the chilled Old Fashioned glass filled with fresh ice.
- Garnish with a lemon twist or a cherry, if desired.
- Serve immediately and enjoy.
Notes
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9. **Chocolate Martini**Ah, the Chocolate Martini! It sounds like a liquid dessert, a sweet indulgence that perfectly caps off an evening. And while it delivers on that promise for you, it often brings a sticky, sugary sigh to the lips of your bartender. It’s a classic example of a drink that’s all fun for the drinker and all work for the shaker.
Carolina Gonzalez, Beverage Manager/Mixologist for WoodWind in Chicago, doesn’t hold back on her feelings about this sweet treat. She explains, ‘There’s something about the high sugar content that I dislike creating for my guests.’ Her concern goes beyond the preparation; she believes an ‘overly sweetened palette disallows a guest to enjoy or appreciate another cocktail after a chocolate martini.’ It’s a flavor bomb that can overwhelm everything else.
But the sweetness isn’t the only issue. Carolina points out the sheer mess involved: ‘Secondly, it is a nightmare to clean the chocolate swirl around the glass that guests enjoy in a traditional chocolate martini.’ Imagine a busy night, dozens of glasses to wash, and then you hit a few that are encrusted with hardened chocolate. It’s definitely not a bartender’s dream.
So, while your bartender will always ensure your chocolate martini is perfectly crafted, even adding ‘my own spin on it’ as Carolina does, they might secretly be hoping your next order is a little less sticky and a lot more balanced. It’s a labor of sugary, chocolatey love, but a labor nonetheless!
Chocolate martini
Ingredients
Equipment
Method
- Melt 1 tsp of chocolate using a double boiler or microwave until smooth.
- Swirl the melted chocolate around the inside of two chilled martini glasses to create a decorative rim, then set aside.
- Fill a cocktail shaker with a handful of ice.
- Add 50ml Irish cream liqueur, 50ml coffee liqueur, 1 tbsp chocolate syrup, and 100ml vodka to the shaker.
- Secure the lid tightly and shake vigorously for 15-20 seconds until the outside of the shaker is frosty.
- Strain the mixture from the shaker into the prepared martini glasses, ensuring no ice shards fall in.
- Serve immediately and enjoy your chocolate martini.
Notes
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10. **Espresso and Coffee Drinks**Picture this: you’ve had a long day, you’re ready for a pick-me-up that’s also a cocktail, and an Espresso Martini sounds like heaven. But for many bartenders, this popular caffeinated concoction can be a real jolt to their workflow, and not in a good way. It turns out, that delicious coffee component isn’t always readily available behind the bar.
Dee Broughton, a recipe developer with over a decade of bartending experience, makes it clear: ‘After thinking about it, my least favorite request was anything with coffee.’ They elaborate, ‘I’ve worked in many restaurants and bars and not one of them stocked coffee behind the bar. It was such a chore to stop what I was doing, leave the bar and go make a cup of coffee for one drink!’ Think about that for a second – stopping all your shaking and stirring just to brew a single cup.
This isn’t just about the espresso martini, though that’s often the prime offender. Broughton adds, ‘And don’t get me started on espresso cocktails.’ They’re delicious, yes, but often a major disruption. Another context tidbit warns, ‘if you’d an espresso martini, make sure the bartender is in a good mood — they’re delicious, but annoying to make.’ It’s a special kind of request that requires a special kind of patience from your bartender.
So, while that caffeine kick combined with your favorite spirit sounds like a match made in heaven, remember that your bartender might be doing a mini-marathon just to get you that single shot of espresso. Maybe save it for a less crowded evening, or just know that you’re asking for a little extra effort!
Barbajada (Milanese Hot Chocolate-Coffee Drink) Recipe
Ingredients
Equipment
Method
- In a medium saucepan, whisk together the cocoa powder and sugar until well combined.
- Gradually add a small amount of milk to the cocoa-sugar mixture, whisking constantly to form a smooth paste.
- Once a paste is formed, pour in the remaining milk, continuing to whisk until fully incorporated.
- Place the saucepan over medium heat and bring the mixture to a gentle simmer, whisking occasionally to prevent sticking and ensure even heating. Do not boil.
- Remove the saucepan from the heat and stir in the strong coffee or espresso.
- Taste and adjust sweetness if desired, adding a touch more sugar if preferred.
- Pour the hot barbajada into individual serving mugs or heatproof glasses.
- Garnish generously with a dollop of fresh whipped cream.
- Serve immediately and enjoy the rich, harmonious blend of chocolate and coffee.
Notes
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11. **White Russian**For fans of ‘The Big Lebowski,’ the White Russian is more than just a drink; it’s a lifestyle. The smooth, creamy blend of vodka, coffee liqueur, and cream seems utterly chill. However, for those behind the bar, this laid-back beverage often brings a little stress, especially when it comes to the logistics of dairy and cleanliness.
Ben Potts, co-founder of Unfiltered Hospitality, sheds some light on the creamy conundrum: ‘While I enjoy consuming them, I’m not a huge fan of making White Russians. Dealing with cream of any kind can be somewhat challenging as it likes to coat things pretty effectively.’ That creamy residue, while delightful in your mouth, is a stubborn clingy friend to shakers and strainers, making cleanup a bit more arduous.
Beyond the stickiness, there’s the question of timing and venue. Katy Guest, an industry veteran, recounted a memorable instance: ‘One time when I worked at a nightclub, someone ordered a White Russian at [2 a.m.].’ Her response? A polite but firm ‘no.’ She questioned, ‘Who trusts dairy from a nightclub at 2 a.m.?’ It’s a valid point; certain ingredients at certain hours in certain establishments can just feel…off.
So, while The Dude might abide, your bartender might just prefer you opt for a less dairy-intensive concoction, especially if it’s the wee hours of the morning in a venue not known for its fresh milk supply. It’s all about context, my friends!
White Russian
Ingredients
Equipment
Method
- Gather all necessary ingredients: vodka, coffee liqueur, and heavy cream.
- Fill each of the eight rocks glasses with fresh ice cubes, ensuring they are well-chilled.
- In a separate mixing glass or pitcher, combine the measured vodka and coffee liqueur.
- Gently stir the vodka and coffee liqueur mixture with a bar spoon for about 15-20 seconds to thoroughly chill the spirits.
- Carefully pour the chilled vodka and coffee liqueur mixture from the mixing glass over the ice in each prepared rocks glass.
- For a layered effect, slowly pour the heavy cream over the back of a bar spoon into each glass, allowing it to gently float on top of the darker liquid.
- Alternatively, for a fully integrated drink, pour the cream directly into the glass and stir once or twice with the bar spoon to combine until a uniform light brown color is achieved.
- Serve the White Russian cocktails immediately to enjoy them at their optimal chilled temperature.
Notes
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12. **Fancy Drinks at a Dive Bar**Alright, this one might seem obvious, but you’d be surprised! There’s a time and a place for everything, and that definitely applies to your cocktail choices. If you walk into a classic dive bar—you know, the kind with dim lighting, a jukebox, and maybe a sticky floor—and ask for a French 75 or a meticulously crafted Lemondrop, you’re probably going to get an internal eye-roll.
A bartender on Reddit perfectly captured this sentiment, sharing, ‘I work at a dive bar and it drives me bonkers when someone comes in and asks for a fancy martini. We’re clearly not that kind of joint.’ Dive bars operate on efficiency, simplicity, and a different kind of charm. They aren’t equipped with a full apothecary of obscure liqueurs or a specialized glassware collection.
Our Reddit bartender elaborated on the struggle: ‘I have one cosmo glass (not even a martini glass) and I probably have to wash it because it’s dusty, then try to cobble together whatever you asked for with my limited ingredients when you won’t be happy with the end result anyway.’ It’s a lose-lose situation. The bartender has to go out of their way, and you’re likely left with a subpar version of your dream drink because the bar simply isn’t designed for it.
So, next time you’re enjoying the authentic gritty ambiance of a dive bar, keep it simple. Grab a beer, a shot, or a classic two-ingredient highball. Your bartender will thank you, and you’ll probably get your drink faster and exactly as expected for the venue.
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13. **Layered Cocktails**Oh, layered cocktails! They’re absolutely stunning to look at, those vibrant bands of color seemingly suspended in gravity-defying order. Think a Pousse Café or a B52 – truly a work of art in a glass. However, for the person tasked with creating such visual magic, it’s often anything but enchanting. These beautiful drinks are a test of patience and precision that many bartenders dread.
Paul Kushner, mixologist, pub owner, and CEO of MyBartender, minces no words, calling them ‘a royal pain in the butt.’ The reason? It’s all about the meticulous technique. He explains, ‘You not only have to pour each layer carefully to avoid breaking the surface tension, but you also need to remember the proper order of ingredients or it could turn into a muddy mess.’ This isn’t a quick shake and pour; it’s a delicate dance of densities and steady hands.
Imagine a busy Friday night. The music is pumping, orders are flying in, and someone asks for a perfectly layered masterpiece. The bartender has to pause, focus intently, and execute a painstaking procedure, all while other customers are waiting. One wrong move, one shaky hand, and that vibrant, multi-colored drink turns into an unappealing, muddied concoction, wasting ingredients and time.
So, while your eyes might light up at the sight of a beautifully layered drink, spare a thought for the intense concentration and pressure on your bartender. It’s a high-wire act, and while the result can be spectacular, it’s rarely a welcome order during peak service.
Café Glacee (a.k.a. Chocolate Black Russian).
Ingredients
Equipment
Method
- Brew two cups of strong espresso and strain it to ensure a smooth consistency.
- Allow the brewed espresso to cool completely, then chill it thoroughly in the refrigerator until ready to use.
- Gather 6 oz of Grand Marnier liqueur and 8 oz of Irish Sheridan’s Coffee Layered or Kahlua coffee liqueur.
- Prepare 8 tall serving glasses (or adjust according to your serving needs).
- Evenly distribute the chilled espresso among the prepared serving glasses.
- Divide and pour the Grand Marnier liqueur into each glass.
- Next, add the Irish Sheridan’s Coffee Layered or Kahlua coffee liqueur to each glass.
- Gently stir the liquid ingredients in each glass to combine them thoroughly.
- Carefully add scoops of chocolate ice cream to each glass, allowing it to settle into the coffee mixture.
- Serve immediately, optionally garnished with chocolate shavings or a dollop of whipped cream for an enhanced presentation.
Notes
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14. **Vodka Soda**Here we are, at a drink that seems utterly harmless, perhaps even the epitome of simplicity: the Vodka Soda. It’s light, it’s refreshing, and it’s practically a staple for those watching their calories or just preferring a no-fuss beverage. But for many a seasoned bartender, this seemingly innocent order can be a little… soul-crushing.
Sam and Stacy Greene, co-founders of Twist & Bitters, get right to the heart of it: ‘a little piece of our soul dies every time a customer orders a vodka soda.’ Why such a dramatic reaction to something so simple? They label it ‘quite possibly the most boring, flavorless, and mundane cocktail a person can order.’ It’s the ultimate lack of imagination, a blank canvas with no art.
To truly drive the point home, the Greenes offer a fantastic analogy: ‘It’s the equivalent of someone asking a chef to serve them a piece of plain, un-toasted white bread for dinner.’ Ouch. While it fulfills the basic function of a drink, it offers absolutely no creative outlet or challenge for a bartender who prides themselves on crafting exciting flavors.
They quickly add, though, that they won’t actually judge you for ordering it. ‘We’ll just feel bad for you,’ they quip. So, next time you lean into that simple vodka soda, know that your bartender will make it with professional courtesy, but might just be silently wishing you’d let them dazzle your taste buds with something a little more adventurous.
Rosy Strawberry Vodka Soda
Ingredients
Equipment
Method
- Chill a highball glass thoroughly before beginning.
- Into the chilled glass, pour the strawberry coulis or purée, rhubarb syrup, rose syrup, and vodka.
- Using a bar spoon, gently stir the liquids together to ensure they are well combined.
- Fill the glass generously with crushed ice, packing it in for optimal chill.
- Slowly top the cocktail with lime/lemon soda, allowing it to mix with the other ingredients.
- Garnish the drink with a fresh lime wedge for an aromatic finish and visual appeal.
Notes
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15. **Jägerbombs**Rounding out our list, we have the notorious Jägerbomb. It’s a staple of high-energy nights, a guaranteed party starter involving a shot of Jägermeister dropped into a glass of Red Bull. It screams “fun times,” but for the bartender behind the counter, it often spells “multiplied mess and minimal appreciation.”
Paul Kushner, our seasoned mixologist, also highlights his dislike for ‘bomb’ drinks in general. While he admits they ‘aren’t difficult to make per se,’ the real issue lies in their demand: ‘you use up twice the glassware and they seem to always be ordered for large groups.’ Think about it: a group of five ordering Jägerbombs means ten pieces of glassware to retrieve, fill, and eventually wash, all for one order.
This multiplied demand often comes with a financial downside for the bartender. Kushner points out, ‘Large group drinks also mean lower tips, in my experience, since the person buying tends to just round up the total instead of tipping a proper percentage.’ So, while you’re getting your party on, your bartender is often doing double the work for potentially less reward.
It’s the ultimate efficiency killer during a busy rush. These ‘bomb’ drinks, while undeniably popular for their effect, create logistical snags and often strain a bartender’s resources and patience. So, next time you’re about to shout “Jägerbombs all around!” maybe give your bartender a knowing nod and a little extra appreciation for their efforts.
Jägerbomb
Ingredients
Equipment
Method
- Ensure both the Red Bull energy drink and Jägermeister herbal liqueur are thoroughly chilled to optimize flavor and experience.
- Carefully open the can of Red Bull.
- Pour approximately ½ can of the chilled Red Bull into a sturdy drinking glass, leaving ample space at the top.
- Measure 1 ounce of the chilled Jägermeister herbal liqueur into a standard shot glass.
- Gently, yet swiftly, drop the shot glass containing Jägermeister into the glass of Red Bull.
- Serve the Jägerbomb immediately to experience the effervescence and the intended ‘bomb’ effect.
Notes
There you have it, folks! A behind-the-bar peek at the drinks and ordering habits that can, shall we say, test the patience of even the most zen bartender. From time-consuming muddles and sticky clean-ups to surprising ingredient mismatches and simply inappropriate orders for the venue, our beloved bar pros navigate a complex world of liquid desires. Next time you step up to the bar, armed with this newfound wisdom, you’ll not only get your drink faster and with a genuine smile, but you’ll also earn yourself some serious ‘cool customer’ points. Cheers to being considerate and enjoying your next cocktail, whatever it may be! (Just maybe, check the vibe first!)
